forthefonofit | CANDLE CALL POST

[FOR YOUR CANDLE CALLING NEEDS idk]

...What are you, Emerald's guardian spirit?

My, you've guessed it already. How impressive.

...Thanks. And me without my sacred offering...

You are forgiven as long as your belated offering is appropriately apologetic.

[straight-faced]

I could find you some dirty laundry.

Blackmail material on yourself! That is perfectly appropriate.

Who says it's mine!

Someone else's will do just fine as well.

...Never mind. Maybe I'll just get you something actually nice.

Who said blackmail couldn't be nice?

What exactly is this blackmail for?

My pleasure, of course.

Of course.

Naturally.

Will you bring ruin upon our household if you're too displeased?

I will smite from above in ways you can only imagine.

I'm not gonna bother imagining it, so sounds like I'm safe.

It means it will be more of a surprise, certainly.